I think I found my new favorite position. I'm not sure that there is an official job description for a lunch monitor but it is amazing!
"Yes, I will open your ranch packet for you."
"Yes, you can go grab a snack."
"Yes, that pizza was made in a factory."
The kids are all contained. They are happy. They are fed and I get to say yes to almost everything. Sign. Me. Up.
The only hesitation that I have is that I don't look like the kids or their teachers in this area so instead of one class staring at me, the entire grade level - who all eat at the same time - are noticeably staring at me. I frequently get asked if I am a substitute for whomever their teacher is - even if they have seen them that day. This can be a little awkward for me but I sweep my long hair over my shoulder, bat my blue eyes at them and pass out napkins like the best of them.
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I substituted for a music class this week too. This was fun because it was totally appropriate to bring my little bluetooth speaker and we played freeze dancing for the upper grades. The kindergarten class had a different plan on their agenda, however...
I know that "Annie" is a classic, but when was the last time that you watched it? Seriously. If you want to know why our generation is out of order, maybe we should look at the things we grew up with.
After a scene where Ms. Hannigan has yelled at the girls, I have some distraught children.
"Mrs. Miller, my mom says we don't say 'Shut Up!'"
Me: I cringe. "I know, buddy. That is not nice, is it?" Then I think, "I wonder how your mom feels about a woman who is visibly drunk with the alcohol bottle in her hand, immodestly dressed, and throwing herself at every man who comes to an orphanage? What are her feelings on that?"
This was an awkward situation as many kids were confused and upset. Freeze dancing, anyone?
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I substituted at a school where my son had some friends from 2 years ago (the school split) and I ended up in class where there were kids who knew my son. One boy was so excited that I was teaching him because he loved my son. He asked if he could write my son a letter.
He handed it to me at the end of the day. "Can you please give this to [your son]?"
"Yes, I can. You know, here is our contact information if you want to call him. Where do you live, anyway? It should be close by."
He hesitates and then says, "I don't feel comfortable telling you that."
Me: "Okay, that is fine." And I am thinking that his hesitation came from the other kids who were standing around him. You know, the kids who ride the bus home with him and already know where he lives. After he walks away I realize that I should be grateful that he didn't report me or start yelling "Stranger Danger!" I guess my supermodel status only has effect in the lunch room.
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A kid came up to me toward the end of the day and prophesied, "There won't be school tomorrow."
"Well, I don't know about that. It looks pretty fine out there right now."
"Nope. There won't be school." and he walked away.
Sure enough, there was a ton of snow that fell at 3AM the next morning and a snow day was declared.
I found it prophetic when I thought about this later...this kid's name was Mohammad. It still makes me chuckle. I wonder what else he knows.
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I have also been grading college papers for my other job. They have to come up with a business idea and explain how they would go about starting it.
My favorites:
A potato bar where everything is made with potatoes. In all seriousness, I would totally eat there.
Or customized swimsuits...
Most were just copycatting many trendy businesses that already exist.
And my "favorite"...tell me your thoughts on this... a restaurant/bar that you bring your laundry to. There are many questions I have for this business idea but the first one that comes to mind...
Do I want my clothes to smell like a restaurant or my food to smell like a laundromat? And do I get to choose that?
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This is what has been happening in the education world where I live. I am considering volunteering for a refugee center in my spare time. I wonder what stories await me there...
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