Weird stuff has happened, guys.
1. We sold our house and got to go to closing with the people who bought our house. Like, we were all in the same room signing papers together. Sure enough, they were millennials. The childless couple was in their mid 20's, spent more than it was worth, and they were so excited to buy a 5 bedroom 3000 sq. foot house. They were cute, though. Since I had them in the same room, I begin to subtly ask questions. Keep in mind, they wanted to close on the house 20 days after they made the offer, which meant that we had to work non-stop to get ourselves packed (because that is not enough time for the military to schedule a move), find a new place, get out, patch holes, paint, clean, etc.
Me: So when are you moving in? Tomorrow (June 2)?
Them: No, we have a townhouse that we have a lease on. So we will move in slowly because we have the lease until the end of July.
I looked at Jeremy who was maintaining his stone cold but emotionless face, thank goodness, because I knew that he was imagining strangling them.
Who pays double rent for 2 months? Millenials with too much money.
2. We moved in to our new, smaller house. I can handle smaller, believe me. My problem is that my kitchen is tiny and my dining room can't even handle having my table expanded. The largest room in my house... the master bedroom. I actually had a dream that I had a dinner party in my bedroom. It was really nice, just so you know. I have had to accept that because there is nowhere else to store anything, my abnormally large bedroom doubles as a storage room. It's romantic.
To go along with the sizing problem of this house (it is a rental, so we are making do), we have had a few other issues. Our first day I discovered that the garbage disposal maybe had a piece of glass in it; however, we couldn't find it so it just sounded like you were grinding glass when it would run. We avoided the sink for a few days while we waited for the maintenance people to come. To make sure that they would stay busy while they were here, I also called in that the dishwasher wouldn't work at all. Come to find out, there is a light switch for it. A LIGHT SWITCH! What engineer designed a light switch to control a dishwasher? The maintenance guy might have thought I was a fool, but really, the housing company just paid him to come and tell me that, so joke's on them.
And my last house issue, and my personal favorite, is that my bedroom door pretends to lock but it really doesn't. We learned this in the worst way possible. My daughter just comes barging in while we are...um...busy. I did not know what to do so I just played dead. Jeremy yelled at her to get out at least 3 times because she was not to be deterred. It was just a terrible, child-damaging, favorite memory of ours now. Later on at the store she mentioned something about it... "Mom, I thought you said that you were going in to talk to daddy."
"Yes, I do remember saying that. Look over here at these cute clothes." Luckily she has ADD so this tactic worked, as far as I know, but she has probably told all her friends about this incident because I am sure I would have done the same thing as a 12 year old know-it-all girl.
Now we put a heavy thing in front of the door to try to prevent any more mishaps.
3. Everyone at our new location home schools. Now, having just left the public school system as a substitute teacher, I do not question their reasons for doing this. However, I was not sure I wanted to drink the same water. Homeschooling is almost like going back to the baby stage where the kids are not only home with you all day but now you are responsible for teaching them more than just numbers and letters. I mentioned to a homeschooling mom that I would be willing to pay her to homeschool my kids. She thought I was joking so I just played it off as if I was.
Over the summer I have thought a lot about it and decided to try it out. Today was day one. I feel kind of bad because it is Cody's birthday. However, I just got all my workbooks that I ordered and there is only one week until public school starts. If this feels like hell, I have one week to figure that out and get them enrolled.
This is how it went:
Both kids were excited yesterday (and all summer hoping that I would agree to it) but then when they got up this morning and saw the to-do list, their hearts failed them and wailing and gnashing of teeth occurred.
Kaitlynn's new math book wouldn't lat flat because...it's new. She is in full panic/fit mode.
K: "My book won't lay down!!!"
Me: "What? I don't know what that means."
K: (she is trying to ram the left side into the table) "My book isn't flat."
Me: "It's new. We are at the beginning of the book, it will get flatter as we use it more."
K: "AHHHH. I need something to put under the cover to make it level."
Me: "Did you act like this in school?"
K: "I did in my head."
Me: "Well, can we try that here?"
K: "Why is C's math book at a higher level than mine?"
Me: "I gave you that pre-test so that I knew which level to put you at."
K: (under her breath) "I guess I should have tried harder."
C: (reading the task list) "Language arts?!? I don't want to learn a new language."
Me: "It's not a new language. It is reading and answering questions." He is trying not to cry and holding his head in his hands.
K: (angrily looking at the language arts book) "What is this? It's like reading and social studies in one."
Me: "It is. And this is a dictionary. If we don't know what a word means then we will look it up. Let's look up 'proportion'."
C: "I know how to use a dictionary, mom." He says as he is reading every word on the wrong page.
C: (looking at the task list) "Oh, we get recess?"
Me: "Yep. We are mowing the lawn today."
I really thought it would be me who was wanting them to go back to public school. I think they are considering it themselves.
We will see how tomorrow goes.
4. We got a kitten from a farm. I wouldn't recommend doing that. He is cute and all but when you get a pet from the pound, they already have them neutered/spayed, vaccines are done, and no fleas. When you bring in one that you found they treat it like it is a leper and charge you a fortune to get everything it needs. The one we got happens to have been sick. He can't get his vaccines until he is well so I have paid over $200 to try to get his vaccines so far and he has been "too sick" to get them. It has gotten to the point where I have considered dropping him off at the pound, letting them fix him up, and then checking back to see if he is available to adopt.
Honestly, he was too sick at first. He was so congested that he could hardly breathe. And he would sneeze green goo all over you. I'm not heartless but that is just disgusting. Remember the Nickelodeon show where you weren't sure if you were going to get slimed? That is what holding or being near this kitten was like. On your arm. In your face. On my floor. It was just gross. After 3 weeks and 2 trips to the vet, we are getting past that. The second time I took him in, though, he wasn't very sick but had some gunk in his eye so she wouldn't give him vaccines. I think it is a gimmick to get your money.* If I liked animals, I would consider being a vet. But take a tip from me, get your next pet from the pound.
*I say this slightly in jest. If you are a pet lover or a vet, no offense is intended.
These are the stories from our new chapter of life in Dayton, Ohio. Tomorrow is C's birthday party. I hate kid's birthday parties. I swear that they think that something magical will happen, like they will get a car and a drivers license for their 10th birthday. Someone will end up in tears or they didn't get what they want and I will yell at them for being ungrateful. It is just a terrible time. Wish me luck. This might be the first year we have done actual birthday parties. It should also be the last.
