Since we have moved to Ohio we have tried to take a cool spring break trip every year. The first year was to Nashville, TN and the second was to Washington D.C. In Nashville, you take a car everywhere - just like you do in every normal American city, but in D.C. you take...the train.
Last year we had gone to D.C. and stayed with some very good friends who helped us explore this great city even though their kids were not on spring break and it was kind of a pain for them. One of the days, my friend had taken us to the heart of the city and then had to go back to get her kids so I excitedly declared that we would take the train back to the stop near her house and we would be there around 5pm. I explained to her, and my children, that this would be so fun. "I love the train." I remember saying that. So what happened next was quite a treachery between me and said train. I had professed my love and the train did not reciprocate.
As our day was ending we headed to the station. We knew we would only ride it once so we loaded one train card with $20 so that we could all use it and get us back home - just like we did in the Japanese train system. Guys, America is not like Japan.
Our first problem came when we tried to scan our one $20 train card, pass it back to the next person and... BUZZ - red light - Nope.
What in the... So we had to find a train assistant who sits in a booth and looks down on all American's who can't figure out how to use the card.
"Um, hello. We just put $20 on this card and it won't let us all use it."
"You each need a card."
"Oh, but I just put $20 on here and we are never going to use this again. Is there a way to pull it off?"
He looks at our pathetic selves and says, "Here, let me give you vouchers. This should get you to your stop."
I tried to explain that in Japan we only needed one card and could just use it until the money was gone but he just looked at us like we were fools. I guess we don't look Japanese.
So we get past the gatekeeper and go down the stairs to the train. Miraculously, the exact train we needed was just sitting there waiting for us. We didn't see it come in but there it was. We made our way down to the platform and my family members boarded the crowded train. I don't know how to describe what happened next because getting on and off of a train should be pretty seamless.
So I was following my son onto the train and the doors closed right in front of me. Like, I didn't even see it coming. My family is on the train and I am not. I panic and try to pry the doors open. My husband and the guy next to him also see the panic and try to pry the doors open from the inside. I am able to get my leg in the door because for a brief second the doors look like they will reopen. However, this is folly. The train is mocking me. It opened enough so that I could get my leg back out and then closed again. I have to accept my fate as I take a step back and realize that I am not going to be joining my family. My kids are screaming my name. Everyone on the train is looking at me. Everyone on the platform is whispering about me. I can see it in their faces and can feel the concern in this underground dungeon... and the train drives away.
I cannot even think of what to do. I am looking at the ceiling because I think that helps the tears not well up in my eyes. I don't even have the presence of mind to make a joke or yell "STELLA....." as the train drives away. I don't have the train card or the vouchers. I don't even know how to work the train system. The train has defeated me.
After a moment I could hear my ringtone.
Guys, cell phones even work in underground dungeons.
The voice of reason on the other end tells me to just get on the next train and to get off at the next station. Oh, right. Thank goodness I hadn't almost started crying or started to panic. That would have been silly, I thought, as I am wiping away a tear.
I arrive at the next station into the arms of my family - and especially my children, who have now been traumatized. All is well again. Or is it? Apparently, our troubles are not over. The train we need to take is not showing up. Train after train comes and the blue line is not coming. They make an announcement that the blue line is never going to come so "find a new way home", basically.
Train -2, Millers- 0.
Jeremy studies the routes and we get on the yellow line. When we arrive at the Reagan International airport, the train declares that this is the end of the line and we all need to get off.
Our friends don't live near the airport.
We are all getting tired of this game as the train's score is now 3-0.
We get off as it is starting to snow and the temperature is getting colder. Miraculously, another train shows up and we get on it. It takes us somewhere far from where we should be and our friend comes to get us in New Mexico, essentially.
We are driven to our home away from home - in a car. I hope that the train knows that it was a car that saved the day.
So this year for spring break we talked about going to New York. Then we realized that New York might also have trains that chew us up and spit us out.
Did you guys know that Columbus, Ohio has a lot of great things to do on spring break?
I know that with Jeremy's career we may end up in Washington D.C. at some point. I accept this as a challenge from the public transportation system in D.C. When that time comes I will be ready; but until then, the train remains undefeated.
No comments:
Post a Comment